Who me? I'm not bitter.

Busy GYN office is seeking an experienced RN, professional for a triage/staff nurse position. Must have at least 3 yrs. experience and be able to organize and prioritize responsibilities correctly. Canidate will be a motivated self starter with excellent people skills and have the ability to forsee potential problems and take appropriate action to avoid them. Must have proper certifications and excellent references from prior private practice positions. Applicants without this experience need not apply.

This is what every job post reads like, hospital or private practice, always the same thing. Here's where I'm gonna start offending peeps...

I can understand why a post for a NICU RN may state experience is prefered, but a doctor's office, really!? 3 years, no exceptions!? I've had lots of girlie issues and have spent quite a bit of time with the hole doctor. In all that time I've seen the RNs take history and vitals, set up euipment, ask for pee in a cup, and give depo shots... and one time start CPR, this guy was looking pasty in the waiting room, I asked if he was feeling okay, he said he was anxious about some test results for his daughter(wife and daughter had been back with the doc for a while). Moments later he fell out clutching his chest, the triage nurse started CPR, attached the AED, and yelled for the admin lady to call 911.

3 years? Really!? Give me 3 weeks and I'll prove I can do it. A few weeks ago I preformed 2 rounds of CPR and delivered 2 shocks with the AED, this happenned in the beer section of "The Superstore". EMTs arrived and wisked him away, breathing and with a pulse. I grabbed a six-pack and went to the beach. Can I put that on my resume?

I understand the knowledge that comes with experience is invaluable and that I can't learn it from a book, but would someone please throw me a frickin' bone... please.

Another application...

Emailed of course, Telemetry 7p-7a. Decided to splurge, I'm off to get my hair did, then marching my ass (and cute new do) into that hospital and I'm gonna sell the hell out of myself!

Public WiFi Whore

I have found all the great public WiFi spots it this town. You see, being a broke and unemployed nurse, certain things had to be sacrificed... 1st went extended cable and HD, 2nd was to get rid of cable all together, and 3rd was my beloved internet. It's amazing how much more productive you can be when you turn off the TV and put down the laptop. I've even started using the facilites in my apartment complex. I sit by the pool... to use the free WiFi, I go to the gym more often... to watch TV. Too many kids at the pool... I sit on the recumbant bike with my laptop and watching TV!

My new home is a beach/college/retiree town. Lots of cafes and bistros, in all just a lot of places to sit outside and enjoy the great weather... with your laptop. The best part is no need to buy anything. The first time I went to Starbucks to use their WiFi I felt obligated to buy a coffee, then noticed that peeps would just roll up, grab a table, whip out some trendy little computer, and sit around for hours. Noticed the same behavior at Barnes & Knoble, people sitting around using their computers. Used to be you found a corner and read a couple chapters of a book, now all the damn comfy chairs are full of WiFi whores and I find myself sitting on the floor reading a CCRN review book.* Has this free public WiFi spawned a new socially acceptable form of loitering? If the crazy bag lady muttering to herself had a iPad would you think differently of her?

*Remember, I'm broke and unemployed, leaves me plenty of time to read but no $$ to buy the books, so I read in the store. Figure, as soon as I get the hours in I'll be ready for the certification exam.

New Grad, RN

The term New Grad RN seems to equate to unemployable these days. What about this growing shortage of RNs? So… I’m a New Grad, Dec ’09, then life happened and the RN didn’t get tacked on until a few weeks ago. Since then the job search has been disheartening, discouraging, demoralizing (redundant, I know, but I’m trying to make a point here). No experience, No job... Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200! And when did the application process become so impersonal? Please fill out the online application, do not contact us, we will contact you, that is when and if we deem you worthy of communication. These HR departments are making me crazy!! It was like pulling teeth talking to one recruiter, apparently the Chief Nursing Officer’s name and number are top secret, eff that.

Why do some people have to be so difficult…

One call to the very helpful hospital directory assistance lady and I had the CNO’s name, number, office location, email, her favorite movie, and how she likes her coffee …
Thank you to the very helpful hospital directory assistance lady, if I get the job* I will find you and say it in person, maybe even give you a hug.

So for now it’s back behind the bar, unless Mae and Kona (my canine and feline companions) are finding jobs…didn’t think so…

I swore I would not be returning to the bar scene, geez, my Danskos have barely even dried out and the martini elbow is still acting up, but here I am, Your Bartender, RN.

*Emergency Dept. 7p-7a… wish me luck!